


Pretend

by bluestargirl6 (pressdbtwnpages)



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-06
Updated: 2005-05-06
Packaged: 2017-10-04 14:37:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pressdbtwnpages/pseuds/bluestargirl6
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Veronica would like to pretend that it had even a little bit to do with Lilly.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the middle of 1.20

Veronica would like to pretend that it had even a little bit to do with Lilly. That every time she kissed Logan she thought of his girlfriend, her best friend.

She would like to pretend that she only kissed him at the hotel that day out of gratitude and that everything else had been Logan's doing. He had after all been the one to grab her arm, pull her into an embrace. She had kissed back out of politeness.

That's a lie. A total lie. Politeness and desire and salvation and need. She'd kissed back and kissed back and instigated some of it. And it had nothing to do with Lilly.

Maybe in the broadest sense, it had something to do with Lilly's death, but not with Lilly. Not with the person, the best friend and girlfriend. Lilly's death was the reason that Veronica and Logan were both broken and alone in a way no one else seemed to be. But Lilly's death was only the catalyst.

They've changed since Lilly's death. Because of Lilly's death. But it's only the catalyst.

The other things, the fall of the Mars family, the fall of Lynn Echolls, they're the reasons Veronica's mind was wandering through fifth period. Because Veronica really and truly believes that she and Logan aren't the same people they were two years ago. They aren't Veronica-Lilly's-best-friend kissing Logan-Lilly's-boyfriend. They're Veronica-the-tough-outcast-chick kissing Logan-the psychopath-with-a-dead-mom.

Maybe who Veronica is now is who she was always meant to be, the girl who's not afraid. And maybe Logan is who he was supposed to be too, the boy who is afraid. Maybe Veronica and Logan were who were really meant to be, broken boy and broken girl healing each other.

"Hey," Logan's warm breath caresses her ear as he unexpectedly pauses at her workstation on his way across the room. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Us. Nothing." Which always sort of means Lilly, to some degree or another.

It's not something Veronica thinks about often. Not when her lips are attacking Logan's, not when his tongue invades her mouth. Not when they're being… whatever it is that they are, a secret. They are about need, desire, a broken girl and a broken boy trying to save themselves together.

Veronica would like to pretend that it is even a little bit about Lilly. But it's not, and that's actually kind of a relief. Because the last thing either she or Logan need is another fucked-up relationship.


End file.
